I often get asked why I decided to share my story. Trust me the thought of writing an actual book was daunting, but my answer always pretty much remains the same; this is not a fictional story. This is my very REAL life story.
The story has been written for me.
This is just the beginning of my why. To be honest it took me a few years to actually feel comfortable with writing and sharing my story. I hid so much of my journey from my family & friends, until now that is. I only ever let a select few in on what we were really going through. What I felt was judgement and the gossip from others always turned me off. I had already been dealing with many "So when are you going to have a baby?" when we were already trying so hard, to "So are they your babies?" after our twins were born, however I decided to rise above all that and listen to the constant nagging feeling in my head that writing about my story was something I had to do to help others. So here I am, with a published book about my very personal 8 year journey dealing with infertility, IVF, foster care, adoption, surrogacy, using a donor & a miscarriage! And to be honest letting all the truth out has been freeing for me.
Struggling with infertility can make you feel a rollercoaster range of emotions from lonely, sad, angry, depressed, jealous, worthless, frustrated, scared and misunderstood with some highs thrown in to mix it up a little. How do I know this? Well I lived it all for 8 years. I was a young, fit, healthy 31 year old when my partner, Ian, and I started trying for a baby. We thought it would naturally happen straight away for us. I could not have been more wrong! By the time our twin babies were born it was coming up to my 40th birthday!
So my reason for writing my book is I have a story to tell, and one I felt I needed to share to help others. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with infertility or had to go down the path of IVF, however our story did not end with falling pregnant on an IVF cycle. IVF failed for us! We had to go down many other paths to get our miracle babies but we got there in the end, so I want to inspire anyone going through similar struggles or about to start on a similar journey to keep on going, not to give up and look into all options should you need to. If we can do it, I know you can too! It has been worth all the years we put our life on hold and all the dollars we spent. We would not change a thing.
For me now, I truly believe this was the path life was meant to take me on and our babies, Bane & Daya, are the children we were meant to have.
Someone said' "I don't know how you did it?"
I said "I wasn't given a choice."