Stay In Your Own Lane

Journey to Motherhood

 My business coach once said to me, “Kellie stay in your own lane.” I can’t quite remember why she said this to me, as it was a couple of years ago, however these words have stuck with me and I often find myself thinking of these words of advice. Even though they are so simple, they have a strong message behind them, which resonates with me. If you did not pick up on the hidden meaning of “staying in your own lane”, it means to travel your own journey through life, in your own time and don’t be put off by what others may be doing beside you. When I need a little reminder I repeat these words silently in my head, I also picture myself with my hands on the steering wheel driving, looking straight ahead, not veering or being distracted by what is going on around me.

These are great words of advice in your business life, however are also great words of advice for your personal life, or frankly any part of your life for that matter. Take trying to have a baby for example and your journey to motherhood. Something that we assume will be a smooth, straightforward road to having a healthy, happy baby to love. However, if you are one of the one in six who struggles to fall pregnant it is not easy watching others in their lanes, maybe going faster than you, therefore falling pregnant sooner or easier than you, and reaching their destination of having their gorgeous babies nine months later, way before you. How can you not look? How can you not be distracted by their sheer happiness right in front of you and blinding you from concentrating on your own journey? During times like this we need to remember everyone’s journey is different, we all travel at different speeds hoping we reach our chosen destination in a timely manner. That is what we all hope for, but for those struggling with infertility, it is not like we get to enjoy the journey along the way. It sure can be an extremely bumpy road. So even though you may be looking at someone getting their family before you, maybe consider there could also be someone behind you wishing they were where you are.

I wish I had heard these quotes and words during the many years I was trying to fall pregnant. I thought I handled pregnancy announcements quite well; however there were a few mishaps along the way, like when my best friend announced out of the blue she was pregnant, obviously forgetting the plan we made together when growing up to be pregnant at the same time, so that our babies could grow up together being the best of friends. At the time I believed I deserved the right to feel disappointed as I felt I had been left behind without a thought, but how could I be upset with my friend? She had not been looking in my lane and had just been doing her own life journey, and I know, should I ever need her she would be my biggest support person who would drop everything to come back and help me along my way.

I read a quote “When you’re in your own lane….there is NO traffic.” However how do you deal with it when others cross into your lane? I am not saying I have all the answers to this, as this is something I am currently working on myself. You see since having my babies I am enjoying life in my lane where I get to support others with their fertility journeys. I am not crossing into anyone else’s lane, unless I am being invited to, however I often have others trying to cross into mine and obstruct my view, but I just continue on, enjoying what I am doing and wish them well along their way. I truly believe every single one of us who has hoped for the destination of parenthood, who has been dealt with the many dips of infertility, yet made it across to the other side, has a story to tell, and even though everyone’s story is different it is unique in its own way and it means we all have something to offer the trying to conceive tribe, which I am certain they are very grateful for.

Still to this day when I find I am thinking about what is currently going on in my life and maybe being directed to compare it to others, I talk to myself “Kellie stay in your own lane. If you look you may fall off altogether, so hands-on that steering wheel and just go forward!” This often makes me pick up speed as well.

To send you all off on your way with love remember:

“Everyone has their own lane, maintain yours….there’s less traffic and no speed limit.”

Kellie x

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